So, I wasn’t depressed.
I had cancer. Fortunately, it’s a curable cancer – lymphoma, so since the last time I posted here there have been many changes in my life.
Firstly the in-laws do not factor into the equation.
I’m in psychotherapy. My husband is in psychotherapy and I’m emerging from the fog.
I only thought to post here today because we had contact with a sister in law who mentioned a few things, that triggered off some nasty memories.
I’m in therapy mostly for surviving cancer, the topic of which is on a more public blog which I attach my name to. But of course there are cross over issues. For a while, when I was quite ignorant about the disease, I was convinced the in-laws gave me cancer.
Today I’m feeling quite a few things. Mainly linked to the in-laws. Why do I still care?
What does it matter to me that the in-laws are bad mouthing me and that their “innocent” children are hurt and bewildered. As my psychologist pointed out, I’ve been in post traumatic stress for the past year or so. Well since i started this blog.
And what I’m learning is that it is not my problem. I have separated myself from the situation. It is no longer my situation.
We didn’t go to the wedding.
The thing is, I don’t know why I care about these people. Sure, junior members got lost and became collateral damage, but the problem with that family was unless you towed the party line – you had no access to “family” and not everyone in the family is a paedophile of course or an enabler.
But my conclusion is now this.
If you ever stumble across this blog. Just call in the professionals.
There is no other way to deal with this.
It’s a fucking Greek tragedy. I nearly died from stress and there’s another family member who has been diagnosed with cancer.
It’s all fucked.
